Parents who I work with are always looking for the answers to two key questions: 1. When and how can I night wean? and 2. When will my baby sleep through the night?
Although they are distinct and separate questions, often a parent’s reason for wanting to night wean is a firm belief that this will lead to their baby sleeping through the night.
MYTH – Night weaning leads to baby sleeping through the night
Unfortunately, like many other things baby related, this belief that night weaning will automatically lead to your baby sleeping through the night is not only a myth, but it is also inappropriate advice to be doling out, especially in the context of babies 12 months and under.
As a holistic sleep coach my goal is to support families to support their little ones to sleep at their biological best. As you can imagine, ultimately this looks very different for each family and for each baby/ child.
What does “sleeping through the night” actually mean?
Many sleep researchers consider sleeping through the night to mean 5 hours in a row and not the 7 until 7 that the thousands of parenting books will have you believe!
The reality is only a small percentage of babies truly sleep through the night at 6 months
All babies are different, so naturally it is possible that some babies may no longer need night feeds at 6 months and will sleep for longer consolidated periods. However, many other babies will still need night feeds and wake several times during the night well into the second even third year of life.
Looking at a paper called Sleep: what is normal at six months? (Sadler 1994) we can see that of the 640 parents who completed a survey about the sleep of their infant, only 16% reported that their 6-month-old “slept through the night”
Sleeping through the night – the 10 Development Steps your baby will go through:
Are you like many of your peers experiencing sleepless nights and feeling worn down? The development of independent sleep is a process, but what is required for this to happen?
An infant’s circadian rhythm needs to have established leading to predominantly night-time sleep which tends to happen somewhere between 4-6 months.
- Your baby must be able to produce melatonin close to the levels produced by an adult. This happens somewhere between 6-9 months.
- An infant must have the ability to fall back to sleep between sleep cycles without support. Some infants will have developed this ability by 12 months but not all.
- An infant’s digestive system needs to have developed to support longer periods of night sleep and their calories and nutritional needs must be met during the day. We tend to see this happening between 9 -18 months.
- In terms of neurological development – the amount of time spent in active REM sleep needs to drop from levels of over 50% to nearer 20% which is closer to the amount of REM sleep an adult Thus making night waking’s less likely. This tends to happen around 6-7 months.
- Your infant’s brain needs to mature to allow for longer sleep cycles. When your infant has less sleep cycles there is less potential to wake during the night. Typically, this happens around 9-12 months.
- A reduction in separation anxiety – Separation anxiety peaks and troughs throughout the first 2 years of life. It often intensifies around times when you baby is learning new skills that allow them to move further away from you on their own, such as learning to crawl, learning to walk and then around 18 months/2 years learning to talk.
It is not unreasonable for an 18-month-old whose language skills are rapidly increasing to have heightened attachment needs. They want to keep you close and they will often wake more in the night to ensure their proximity to you.
- From an emotional perspective your infant needs to be able to hold you in their mind even if you are not present – this is a complex skill and often does not appear until your child is at least 1-2 years
- To support longer consolidated periods of sleep overnight, your infant’s sleep wake homeostasis needs to reduce. taking away the need for daytime naps. It can be that your child is closer to 3-5 years that daytime wakefulness is sustained without a nap, leading to an increased sleep drive by bedtime.
- Your infant needs to have a small degree of emotional regulation that requires less co-regulation from you as their parent. This is often not possible until they are closer to 3-4 years old.
Having explored the processes required for independent sleep, I hope that it helps to reassure you that there is a lot that needs to go on in the brain and body of a child working towards this development. It is not simply a matter of removing night feeds and “hey presto” your child will sleep through.
It is also important that your baby/child’s journey towards independent sleep is supported by secure attachment and responsive parenting as well as an environment conducive to sleep.
You can help your baby build healthy sleep foundations
There are lots of things you can do now to help support your baby to sleep at their biological best. This will also give you the rest and emotional support that is so needed in your infant’s early years.
For more information on how I can support you and your family, please check out my services page and to learn more why not book a free 20-minute connection call with me?
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